Jarom Johnson

2D vs Full Dimensional

Ever wonder why 3-D glasses were invented? Well, I don’t think it was to make the trees and flowers in the yard look better. Or to get a better look at ocean waves or the stars at night. As we all know, 3-D glasses were invented to make things on a two dimensional screen look more real. It’s remarkable how much effort and technology has gone into making two dimensional entertainment appear more real and life-like. Now contrast 2D entertainment with a real life experience I had whitewater rafting when I was 16 years old.

Snake River, Wyoming.

“The July day was warm and the mountain air was fresh as we walked down from the parking lot towards the river carrying our raft over our heads. As we approached the water, a cool breeze blew towards us with the moisture spray coming off the frothing surface of the river. As we took our places on the raft and pushed off from the shore, we soon joined the swift river current that was mighty and alive! Our guide sat at the rear of the raft and whose instruction we depended on to enter the rapids successfully. Each set of rapids was completely unique. At a couple points, it felt as if myself or one of my buddies would tumble off the raft into the water as our raft tilted from side to side through the rough whitewater. (We were prepared for such an event with each of us securely wearing a life-jacket.) Some of the rapids were so large that we would rise 8-10 feet into the air before plunging down the other side. It was exhilarating! By the end of our ride, I was grateful I had not been assigned to the front of the raft. While got the occasional splash in the middle, the guys in the front of the raft were drenched from all the cold water that had cascaded over them. Nevertheless, their excitement and enjoyment was no less than mine as they shivered with smiles on their faces.”

Now, how would this experience been different if I had simply sat at home watching a YouTube video of rafting on the Snake River . . . ? What would I have missed out on?

Well, just about everything.

When we spend lots of time watching others on a screen, we limit ourselves in our ability to prepare for and experience things in the real world. Now, I’m not saying there’s zero value from watching others do things in movies or videos. Indeed, watching others on video can be very instructive, motivating, and insightful. However, great opportunity is lost when screen-time becomes excessive. If we are not careful, screen-time can stunt the development of full dimensional experiences in each of our lives.

As the guide and guardians of our children and youth, we have a great opportunity to teach them to value and prepare for real, full dimensional experiences in their lives. We can teach our children healthy habits and routines in their use of media technology. We can also teach our youth to use screen-time as a tool for inspiration and preparation in their lives. When used with a purpose in mind, media technology can help us prepare for and seek out amazing experiences in our real, majestic, and beautiful world.

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Paddling Together

Canoes are fun to take on lakes and rivers because they are so responsive to every paddle stroke. This makes them nimble and easy to maneuver on the water. However, until you get used to maintaining a forward direction with your paddling; you’re likely going to go in a zig-zag pattern trying to get to your destination. It’s ideal to have a second person in the canoe helping to paddle. A second paddler can make the journey much easier and more efficient . . . as long as both paddlers are on the same page.

Communication is key.

Imagine being in a canoe wanting to go left to the shore but not communicating this to the other person paddling. When you make adjustments to turn the canoe, the other person will make counter adjustments to correct what you just did. It won’t be until we communicate our desires to our canoe partner, that we will be able to work together towards a mutually agreed upon destination. In like manner, it is critical to speak and communicate clearly with those around us the things we are striving to do change with our screen-time habits and routines. If our spouse and children do not understand what we are trying to do and why we are trying to do it, we will make little progress changing screen-time habits in our homes. It will be like being in a canoe fighting the other paddler as you each try and get to different destinations.

Unspoken expectations are breeding grounds for resentment and contention. In my relationship with my wife, I’ve found that I don’t naturally voice everything I’m thinking and expecting to have happen. I’m really good at expecting things to be done a certain way without communicating what I’m thinking. And, oh boy! This caused grief and tension between my wife and I. I’ve noticed this pattern and try to voice everything I’m wanting to have happen. It’s amazing how the tension melts away once I explain verbally what I would like to see happen. Instead of negative feelings getting pent up and defensiveness ensuing, I put myself in a position to work with my wife to accomplish what I want when I voice my desires. Though I still forget at times, this practice has helped us work together on individual and collective goals with much greater harmony and less tension.

These same principles are at play as we strive to improve the screen-time habits our children engage in. Our spouse and children will be much, much . . . did I say MUCH!– more likely to cooperate in changing screen-time routines when they understand what our vision is! By sharing our vision of how better screen-time habits and healthy routines will benefit each individual person in our home, we will afford each family member the opportunity to buy into our vision and start paddling with us!

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Progress, not Perfection

One of the best ways to stop ourselves from making any progress is by being too hard on ourselves and our family members. Changing habits takes work over a period of time and usually involves a lot of speed bumps along the way. When it comes to supporting our children in changing their screen-time habits, trial and error is going to be a part of the process. My advice . . . do not to take things personally. When the change we’re trying to implement isn’t going as well as we would like, seek for patience and understanding both for ourselves and our children. Change is not easy but it is needed and it is worth it!

shallow focus on blond haired woman in white long sleeve shirt carrying a baby on her back

Let’s say we try to implement a new after-school routine for our children to help them not watch as much Netflix or video games.. Let’s say that after two weeks of trying a new routine, the amount of screen-time our children are getting each day has only decreased by 10-15 minutes. Our initial reaction may be one of discouragement or frustration. Whatever our initial feelings, we need to celebrate this progress no matter how small it may seem. Our children also need to be complimented on the progress they are making even when it is small. Celebrating our progress, even if small, will help pave the way for more and more improvement. Please, do not stop!

I firmly believe that putting forth effort, as imperfect as that effort may be, is so, soooo much better than not trying and making no effort at all. If we simply give up on a goal that matters to us, our children can sense this also and it will negatively impact them. So instead of throwing in the towel, let’s give ourselves a pat on the back for our effort and then keep searching for answers and improvement. Persistence is key, especially, when it comes to changing our habits with digital technology. Nevertheless, persistence . . . by itself, is not going to bring about the change we are seeking in our screen-time routines. Another element is needed.

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Bedtime: A Closer Look

If there’s one thing I could recommend for a child’s bed-time routine is to read books. That may seem overly simple, so let me start with identifying a few things to avoid at bed-time.

First off, screens. . . You know those flat, rectangular things that light up and play movies or games or allow us to get lost surfing the internet or scrolling through social media. Yeah, those screens! 😉 In order to have a sleep supportive bed-time routine, it’s important–even crucial–to turn off and put away our digital screens. What health professionals recommend is turning screens off an hour before going to sleep at night. One of the main for this is that the blue light used to light up our digital devices interferes with our brain preparing for sleep in the evening (Harvard-Blue Light).

Another thing to avoid at night-time is keeping wi-fi and cellular devices next to our children as they sleep. Testing and research indicate that the radiation emitted by cellular and wireless devices can be harmful to the body over time (Environmental Health Trust). Therefore, it’s a good safety precaution to keep any screens or wireless devices away from the area where children sleep or power down these devices at night-time.

So what is helpful to do as we help our children prepare for and get a good night’s sleep? There’s the usual getting on pajamas, maybe a bed-time snack (I’m still trying to get my children to eat more at dinner time so we don’t have to do this snack thing!), brushing teeth, and perhaps evening rituals in preparing for sleep. But what do we do when children are still wanting to play or claim they aren’t tired (my kids do this all the time!)? And what about summer-time when it stays light outside well past 8pm?

Books. Reading books.

Children may not be excited about reading books at first, but with some practice, they will come around.

When it comes to books, I love taking advantage of our public library! At the library, my children can handpick books that are interesting to them. In fact, I have to put a limit on the number of books we check out at a given time because they are so excited with all the fun books they find. When my kiddos aren’t wanting to come inside and get ready for bed, I let them know our book reading time is in jeopardy! My wife and I also require our kids to brush their teeth and be ready for bed before we read to them. We like to do a little contest where the child ready for bed first gets to choose the first book. More often than not, they eagerly step into action in order to not miss reading time.

So what can reading books as a part of a bed-time routine really do for a child? Instead of children decreasing their quality of sleep by being on a screen right before bed, children can prepare for sleep, develop a love of reading, and learn healthy bed-time habits through a reading time routine. My wife and I have found that reading time doesn’t have to be long. In fact, just 10 to 20 minutes each night is sufficient for a great reading experience!

Reading in the evening will replace unhealthy screen-time and, simultaneously, helps support so many other healthy habits in our children’s lives. This is why I truly believe reading to our children as part of a bed-time routine is so, so helpful! It’s a practice that is both an offensive and defensive routine. Reading is awesome!

Harvard Health Letter: Blue Light

Environmental Health Trust: About

Environmental Health Trust: Research

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Create vs Consume: Defense

So why play defense when it comes to screen-time for our children?

The media platforms we know so well such as YouTube, Netflix, Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, TicToc, Snapchat, Hulu, DisneyPlus, and so many others do not have built-in warnings! There is not an alarm that goes off after half an hour of scrolling through social media. There’s not a warning on YouTube when sexually suggestive content in an ad or video comes up. And there’s not any warning given when using any one of these platforms at the expense of sleep or proper exercise and nutrition. It’s like having access to an all you can eat buffet all day everyday without any limits or warnings about the adverse effects of over-eating. Without guidance and coaching, our children and youth will make themselves sick by gorging themselves on the endless buffet of entertainment media. Please forgive me for my rant, but you get the point! Defense is essential for the health and success of our children and the rising generation.

The Foundation

A good bed-time routine devoid of screens is so very important for several reasons. A good bed-time routine supports the work, energy, and creativity for the next day. When children and youth are left consuming media at the expense of the sleep they need, their energy and creativity batteries take a hit. Health experts recommend turning screens off an hour before going to sleep in order to give the brain a chance to wind down and prepare for sleep (American Association of Pediatrics).

Second, a good bed-time routine is an excellent safe-guard against screen related addictions. Children and youth will have much less opportunity to develop an addiction to video games, pornography, or social media when a bed-time routine is followed.

Third, bed-time routines provide an excellent opportunity for reading. I believe reading is the “golden bullet” of bed-time routines. Reading is so helpful for children in their cognitive development and provides a calming activity that helps the mind prepare for sleep. I’ve found that including reading in our bed-time routine provides my children an incentive for getting ready for bed and getting off of screens in the first place. They look forward to having the opportunity to choose a story and have it read to them. In addition to providing a powerful incentive for bed-time cooperation, reading at bed-time also helps children have an interest in reading on their own at other times during the day. Reading with children at bed-time is both a defensive and offensive strategy. Reading with children is powerful!

Time limits

It’s a lot easier for children and youth to get into the weeds of stagnation and screen related addictions when they are left to be on a screen for hours on end. Giving time limits on leisure screen-time helps children know what to expect when they sit down to watch their favorite shows or play a game. When time limits are combined with the Game-Changer routine, children and youth view screen-time as a reward that has limits rather than a lifestyle that has no end. I personally prefer giving my children a 1-2 hour time limit with screen-time. This time-frame works well with our children who are between the ages of 4 and 8.

Go with a Simple Phone

In my post, Ferrari in L.A: Part 2., I talk about the strategy of giving tweens and teens simple phones that don’t include an internet connection. Phone’s such as the Gabb Wireless phone or a basic flip phone are a great way to play defense when it comes to the amount of time youth spend on the internet. When youth do not have constant access to the internet, they will feel more purpose and have more direction in their use of the internet when they have their windows of opportunity to use it. When youth do not have constant access to social media and the internet on their phones, they will, by default, have more time to spend exercising, reading, and engaging in person to person communication.

While learning to play offense with the screen-time is important, helping our children and youth develop routines for a good defense is critical. Without defensive routines and principles in their lives, children and youth will learn through hard experience the cost in lost opportunity and poor health that the endless media buffet in our world can cause.

Defense is essential.

American Association of Pediatrics

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Gabb Wireless Phones

Create vs Consume: Offense

photo of woman teaching his son while smiling

Routines provide us the structure needed to build good habits. Habits shape our lives.

Instilling healthy habits in our children through the practice of routines will do wonders! Think of the health problems, mental illnesses, or addictions that can be avoided through healthy habits. Routines can help our children avoid destructive behaviors and, instead, replace them with empowering habits helping them accomplish their dreams and goals in life.

There are two types of routines that I’d like to discuss: offensive and defensive. Think of offensive routines as a way to use digital technology as a tool for growth, knowledge, and motivation in our lives. Think of defensive routines as a way to help develop boundaries that protect against unhealthy behaviors with digital devices.

Let’s first start with the offensive routines.

In my post, The Game-Changer, I describe the way screen-time can be used as an incentive for other healthy activities that don’t involve being on a screen. The principle of work first, then play is critical for children to learn. It’s very easy for children and youth to fall into the habit of getting on a screen to avoid “work” or activities that appear unpleasant. Helping children and teens get in the habit of completing their work or “less desirable” activities before getting on a screen for entertainment is huge! Establishing routines where children and youth learn to create, work, serve, or exercise in order to “earn” their screen-time will help build healthy habits.

The other offensive routine I’d like to touch on is something I call Passionate Pursuits. As we’re all well aware, the internet provides a wealth of information on just about every conceivable topic. Wikipedia, Khan Academy, and tons of online libraries, are just some of the examples of the incredible resources of information readily available to us. As a result, the information we need to start a new hobby, learn a new skill, or investigate a question about the world is available at our fingertips within seconds. Powerful! So, instead of having children view screens as just a device they watch the next TV show on, we can show them how to use screens to fuel their passions? With a bit of coaching and structure, children can learn quickly how to use their “smart” devices to aid them in active learning and accomplishment.

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Create vs Consume: Part II

Serving another human-being without expectation of reward uplifts both the giver and receiver. Service is a powerful way to develop understanding of and relatability with other people. It is also a great antidote to too much media consumption on a screen. Whether we serve our family, friends, neighbors, or people we’ve never met before; the effect of serving another person is significant.

smiling adult ethnic female worker serving cute girl in cafe

Just the other day, my seven year old daughter had the idea to draw a picture and send it to her grandparents. Using a beginners guide, she drew pictures of horses and then put the drawings into individual envelopes. She then bugged mom and dad until she got the addresses and stamps needed to send her pictures in the mail. Did her grandparents appreciate her drawings? You bet they did! They loved those rough drawings thoughtfully given by their grand-daughter.

I’m grateful for my daughter’s example of simple service; because, as a parent, I’ve often felt overwhelmed at the thought of doing a big service project that involves a lot of time and energy. So instead of getting overwhelmed, I try to focus on small things my children and I can do that don’t require starting a new charity! One activity my children and I enjoy is making cookies and taking them to neighbors. For birthdays and holidays, I make it a priority to involve my children in making or purchasing gifts for others. I’ve found this is a powerful way to help children think about and celebrate the people around them. Other activities we enjoy are tending a garden or taking care of animals . . . even if it is just our fish. I notice that these activities help my children develop an awareness of the needs of the living things around them.

As children get older, the service activities that interest them will likely change and evolve. Mowing the lawn for a neighbor who has poor health, volunteering time at the local food pantry, or helping elementary school children learn to read are just a few of the many activities our youth can engage with as they get older.

Regardless of our age, service helps us get outside ourselves. It’s easier to notice and feel grateful for the blessings we enjoy in our own lives when we get involved helping those around us. I’m convinced that each of us, including our children, will have better balance in our lives when we make serving others something we do on a regular basis. In fact, to a large extent, the success we experience in our careers and professions is a direct result of how much value we bring to other people’s lives in our given field of service. I believe our children will be that much more prepared to live productive and joyful lives as they take time now to practice serving within their families and communities.

Here are few terrific online resources to discover service opportunities in our own neighborhoods:

unitedway.org

justserve.org

redcrossyouth.org

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Create vs Consume

The Great Salt Lake is the largest body of water in the Western United States. However, unlike most inland lakes, the Great Salt Lake is full of salt water, very salty water. The reason for this is that the Great Salt Lake has no waterways leading out of it. The water runs into the Great Salt Lake from the Jordan River and other tributaries but no creeks or rivers lead out from the lake. The only way water leaves the Great Salt Lake is from evaporation. Because of this, the minerals, including salt, build up and build up leaving the water salty and inhospitable for most forms of life.

In like manner, our children can become sick from consuming too much in their lives and giving, creating, and releasing too little. If children simply consume the movies, videos, pictures, and games others produce, then their minds and bodies will become sick. So how do we teach our children to have a healthy balance in their lives?

First, we need to make sure we are modeling balance in our daily activities. If the bulk of our leisure time is spent on a screen, we shouldn’t be surprised when our children and teenagers follow suit. It takes effort to live a balanced life when the internet and countless media options are constantly available. For myself personally, I’ve found it very beneficial to consciously review how I’m using my time on a screen and make adjustments. It starts with us.

After taking inventory and making adjustments of our own screen-time habits, there are some key areas I’ve found that are very helpful in helping children develop balance between creating and consuming in their own lives. These areas are:

Routines

Service

Gratitude

Let’s start with the last one, first . . . gratitude. Gratitude truly creates magic! Gratitude can transform our attitudes and outlook in a single moment.

The other day, a YouTube ad caught my attention. It was for a non-profit organization CharityWater.org. I stopped what I was doing and watched the 20 minute documentary that showed in detail how the tremendous problem a lack of clean water causes for millions of people around the globe. Wow! Talk about a reality check! I came away from that video with a deep sense of gratitude for the access to excellent water my family and I have. Though our water supply hadn’t changed, my appreciation for the supply of fresh, clean water did! Now, I know that the concept of gratitude isn’t new and you are probably more aware of the amazing things we have to be grateful for in our developed world than I am. However, my question is, do our children have a deep sense of gratitude for the wonderful things they enjoy in their lives each day? Do our children know how their food is grown? Do they understand the work that goes into growing and harvesting crops? Do our children know how the electricity is created that powers the lights, the heat, the refrigerator? Do they consider what effort it took for the home to be built that they live in? Do our children appreciate the marvelous opportunities for learning, working, and recreating that we enjoy in our world? Our children have more blessings available at their fingertips than any other previous generation in the history of the world. Do our children know what it means to feel deeply grateful?

You might be thinking, “this stuff about gratitude is all good, but what does it have to do with screen-time for children? Well . . . it’s human nature and physiology to eat when we feel hungry. When we feel bored, we look for stimulating activities. When we’re sad or fearful, we look for comfort and security. In contrast, gratitude is a choice we make to value the things that already exist in our lives. Gratitude doesn’t require consuming more. Therefore, when our children practice gratitude, the need they feel to consume media will naturally diminish. They will be more resourceful with what is around them. They will also be more likely to notice ways they can serve people around them. And they will be less resistant to implementing routines in their life that build value for themselves and others.

Create vs Consume: Part 2 coming soon!

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Prepared or Freezing?

I took my three children camping this past weekend to south-central Utah. It was wonderful and strenuous! The daytime hours we enjoyed very much, but the night-time hours got very cold. What I had anticipated for the overnight low temperature was off by about 10 degrees Fahrenheit. The temperatures dipped into the 20’s.

In preparing for our early March campout, I had made sure my children each had a sleeping bag and warm blanket. I also brought along an extra sleeping bag to lay over the top of all three of them. Fortunately, they each slept through the night and were sufficiently warm. However, I had overlooked one thing in my preparation . . . warm bedding for myself! I thought a single sleeping bag would be sufficient. I found out otherwise! About 1 am, I woke up to relieve myself and found myself shivering uncontrollably. I knew I needed to warm up somehow. Not wanting to wake the children, or my in-laws who we were camping with, I got into my van and turned on the engine. After a couple minutes waiting for the cars heater to kick in, I remembered that I had brought along an emergency blanket. Knowing I couldn’t keep the van running all night, I decided to give the emergency blanket a try. After lining my sleeping bag with the emergency blanket (and nearly waking up everyone in camp with the crinkly noises), I crawled into my sleeping bag and hoped for the best. It did the trick! The emergency blanket provided enough insulation that I was able to sleep. The following day I was able to function and we had a really enjoyable day! I shudder to think what I would have needed to do had I not had that emergency blanket with me on this campout! If I wasn’t able to warm up in my sleeping bag, I would have been left with turning on the engine of the van periodically through the night to try and keep warm. The following day likely would’ve been ruined! This was a powerful reminder of how important preparation really is.

Like this recent camping experience provided for me, I strongly believe our children need opportunities to test their own preparation. This testing usually doesn’t occur in the digital or virtual realm. A video game where endless character respawning takes place, just doesn’t cut it. Our preparation is tested in the physical world and children need to experience this testing while they are young. Things as simple as learning to ride a bike or planting some garden vegetables provide opportunities to test and learn the principle of preparation. As children grow, physical activities such as team sports, hiking, camping, dancing, or public speaking (to name a few) provide testing needed to learn how to prepare for life’s challenges. So let’s be conscious of this need and make sure that the virtual realm does not take the place of needed growth experiences in the real, physical world.

Ferrari in L.A. Part II

When we are learning something for the first time, we inevitably make mistakes. In fact, making mistakes and learning from them is part of the learning process.

Pilots in training don’t jump into Boeing 747 to try out their landing skills! Nor do Olympic ski jumpers start on a 60 ft ski jump when they are first learning. Pilots start in simulators where there is nothing they can actually crash and burn with. Ski jumpers start on jumps just a few feet high and then practice on incrementally bigger and bigger jumps until they are ready for the big ones. So why in the world would we think it’s a good idea to give our kids a smart-phone with data and internet before they’ve been through practice and training on safer equipment beforehand!?! If you ask me, giving kids a smart-phone without practice and training is like asking them to jump into the deep end of a pool before they’ve had swim lessons! So why not start our children and teenagers out with the phone equivalent of a Honda Accord or beat up pick-up truck while they learn to responsibly drive their digital devices?

A terrific phone option to provide our children the opportunity to learn in a safer environment is the Gabb Phone. Gabb phones are designed with young people in mind. Talk, text, camera, and a few non-internet apps are the features available with Gabb phones. That’s it! These phones are not Ferrari’s! They are, however, good looking “Honda Accords” perfect for training up-and-coming young people how to effectively navigate the digital world.

Another great phone option . . .

The flip phone. . . Yes . . . the flip phone.

A simple, durable flip phone is the equivalent of a beat up pick-up truck. While our children (especially the teenagers) will complain about how un-cool a flip phone is, we can patiently explain that this is their training and practice vehicle of digital communication. We can have our youth prove their skills and responsibility with a phone that doesn’t have the high octane and risk factors that come with a handheld “Ferrari.”