The Skill of Discipline
As parents, the word “discipline” may very well trigger feelings such as drudgery, inadequacy, or weariness. If you ask me, this reaction isn’t surprising. We may have developed negative associations with “discipline” from our growing up years; or at the very least, we likely have experienced parental fatigue trying to “discipline” our own children. To counter this reaction, I recommend thinking of discipline as a practice of refocusing. This is particularly helpful when it comes to the approach we take to screen-time.
Developing a daily practice of refocusing is necessary for each of us to become the masters of our screen-time rather than servants. For example, how much effort does it take to become distracted on our smartphones, laptops, or tablets? Mmm . . . yeah, like no effort at all! A small twitch of our thumb is all it takes to swipe, scroll, or tap the touchscreen of our smart-phone and become lost in distraction. It’s not so much a matter of if we will get distracted, but rather a matter of how quickly we can recognize we are getting distracted and refocus our attention on things that matter. So how can we teach our children how to refocus their attention and avoid habits of perpetual distraction with screens?
Disciplined Defense
Teaching our kids to delay gratification by doing chores, homework, exercise, or art before getting on a screen for entertainment, teaches them focus and discipline. When our children learn to stick to screen-time, time limits, they learn how to discipline and refocus. When our children learn to turn off their screens at bed-time, and keep them off, refocus and discipline are developed. When our teenagers get up in the morning and take time to meditate or exercise before checking their phones, this is discipline. All of these practices help and train our children and youth to focus or refocus on things with valuable, long-lasting results.
Disciplined Offense
In the post, With Purpose, I highlight the powerful impact having a goal or purpose in mind gives to our screen-time. As we help our children identify things they want to learn, accomplish and experience in life; screen-time can become a powerful tool to propel them forward in the pursuit of exciting accomplishments with long-lasting value. Developing the discipline to think about what they intend to accomplish by getting on a screen will empower our children and youth to do awesome things in their life!
Putting It Together
I’ve seen in my own family how routines help younger children learn to delay gratification (albeit often grudgingly ;-). Routines also help them learn the skill of refocusing their attention on the physical needs of their bodies, home, and those around them. For teenagers, helping them identify motivating goals along with supportive routines can encourage them to develop their discipline and refocusing muscles. Implementing new routines involving discipline will likely be difficult at first. However, as we listen to our children as they share their concerns as well as their dreams and goals, understanding and buy-in will come. With clear communication and loving encouragement, our children and teenagers will grow in their ability to practice focus and discipline in their approach to screens. As our children and youth practice discipline with screen-time, marvelous results will come. The level of joy, fulfillment, and health they experience in their lives will be much greater as a result.
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