In the summer of 2019, my wife flew out to the Midwest to care for her cousin’s children for a few days. When my wife came back home, she was on fire with motivation to change our screen-time routines.
You see, before my wife had visited her cousin, our approach to screen-time was . . . haphazard. Before my wife’s trip, we only required our children to complete a given amount of school time before they were at their leisure to watch approved TV shows. My wife and I would try to have the kids stop watching shows after about two hours elapsed, but we weren’t consistent. We often felt that our children were spending too much time on screens, but we struggled implementing changes. Once my wife saw what her cousin did to implement healthy boundaries surrounding screen-time, my wife went into action and quickly convinced me to get on board.
The changes that my wife and I implemented were really quite simple. Instead of having screen-time as a default activity, we started requiring our children to earn their screen time by doing a set amount of household chores. Each child was given a different number of chores to complete based on their age and capability. Once a child completed their chores and checked them off with Mom or Dad, then the child could have leisure screen time watching approved shows or activities. At this same time, we also let them know what they could expect for the time-frame they could be on a screen.
This simple system brought about fabulous changes and still does! First off, the house is cleaner and stays cleaner! In fact, our children sometimes get so invested in doing household chores that they get into arguments over who does what chore as they try and jockey for chores that appear “easier” or more desirable. As a parent, this is a good problem to have 😉
Another huge positive is that there is an established limit regarding the amount of leisure screen-time each child is allowed per day. (Now, I have to be honest here . . . we are very imperfect at enforcing the screen-time limit. There are times when the screen time our children end up getting is greater than the limit we originally set. However, we are much better limiting the amount of screen-time our children get now than we were prior to implementing this system.)
Lastly, and perhaps most importantly, this system supports children in learning healthy habits with their use of technology. Instead of giving children a free pass to leisure screen time, we are teaching them the principle of work before play. Screen time is viewed as a privilege rather than an automatic pass. The beautiful thing about this system is that it works well with activities other than just household chores. Requiring that our children engage in activities such as music practice, reading a book, or some type of physical exercise are examples of some excellent alternatives to use within this system. By requiring children to “earn” their screen time through accomplishing other healthy activities, children are taught and encouraged to manage their screen time rather than the other way around.
So what is “The Game-Changer?”
It is leveraging screen time as a reward for other healthy behaviors.
Do this by identifying an activity, or set of activities, children are required to do before they are allowed to get on a screen for leisure. Make sure the expectations are clear up front and then enjoy the teaching and results that come about.
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